Since I read about Wizkid and his baby mamas calling him a deadbeat dad, I thought I could write an article educating men on how to be real dads for their kids. However, for some inexplicable reason, I just hadn’t gotten to writing the article. Now I know why. I needed to be reminded of what it was like growing up with my dad.
My Dad just left a few minutes before I started writing this article. He came into town on Saturday. After he had eaten we spent quite some time discussing life, and business in general. It reminded me of how growing up was and how I enjoyed his company. From as long as I remember, whenever my father wasn’t working or at church he spent the time with his family. These were majorly evenings and then Saturdays and Sundays. As we grew older though and he got busier with work this times reduced to just Saturday mornings and Sundays after church.
Those times of talking and running around ( when he was young enough to run around) we fun times and these are some of my best memories.
Thinking about it and then thinking about Wizkid and his sons, I feel a lot of pity for those boys. I know how important male figures are to boys, boys always want to move with a bigger male, and in turn, that male will have a great influence on that child. However, not all bigger males have the interest of the boy at heart, as a father would. Girl children are not left out of this too. When a father is always absent, there’s no telling the effects it could have on the child, especially those who live in urban areas where the families are not as close in proximity as in the rural areas, where cousins and uncles can still play a fatherly role.
I’ll like to share with us today, how you can avoid being a deadbeat dad and be a dad that takes responsibility.
Deadbeat fathers are absent fathers. A lot of things could happen if you are absent from your child’s life, but we won’t go there, I’m sure you know them already.
This is the only one thing you need to do to avoid being a deadbeat dad. Easy huh! It’s not so easy otherwise there wouldn’t have been many irresponsible fathers out there. Yeah, of course, a child is a responsibility and children, well, responsibilities. If you don’t want to be bothered with children, then don’t bring them into this world. I’m sure you know how to do that, right?
So how do you “Be There” for your children?
Not just on facetime or on phone, visit them or have them visit you. Except it’s like totally impossible. Like you are in Sambisa fighting Boko Haram, or maybe you are in a faraway country. Then you should talk to them almost every day.
True, some women make it very difficult for their baby daddies to be with their children or they poison the minds of their children against their fathers. it’s probably because they were or are still hurt. However you are a man, and men love challenges, we thrive on them. So if your baby mama is making it difficult, find a way around the problem, I’m sure you can. If you put your mind to solving this problem, the universe will even find a way to make it work for you. We know you have many other responsibilities, in the all, create the time for your children, in the end, you’d be glad you did.
That’s the thing about children, they cost a damn lot of money. Which brings me back to what I said before, if you don’t want children, you know what to do. And if you have them, you know what must be done. Pay your children’s bills, even if their mum can easily afford it. A man who doesn’t provide for his children his children is well, …. fill in the blank space.
If child support is more than you can afford, then speak to the mom or courts and work out something. I know if a man is willing and committed to doing something he’ll eventually find a way. So I’m sure you can find a way to be a part of your children’s life.
This is by no means an exhaustive post on the matter, but I’m sure you’ve learned the long and short of not being a deadbeat dad. Be there for your children to the best of your abilities.
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